so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
