I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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