can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
