It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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