well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Life is so much better after having sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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