dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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