I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
