I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize