I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
