my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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