what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
