Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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