she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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