I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She bit a glass in half.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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