I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
