I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
