all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
pray to the hookup gods
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