I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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