i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
