just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
