I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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