Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
