I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
