Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
