i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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