Where is the hickey?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
