Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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