What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm really busy with my period
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