I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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