He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
