god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
