Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
