be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize