I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
