Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I did not marry a roomba.
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