He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
