Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
