I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
