I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
