some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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