No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
this will be a night to untag.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
