i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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