C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it