so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE