dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
