do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize