im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this will be a night to untag.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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