I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
