oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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