these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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