I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ladies don't puke and tell
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
