i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
