John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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