So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
