ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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