the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
