you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
