it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
