broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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