Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
