How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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