So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So much rum. So many feels.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
