I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
